Bill the Banker

The next couple of days are expected to see mass demonstrations in London. Protesters are planning to descend upon the City (tomorrow) and the G20 meetings (Thursday), marching against everything from bank bailouts to globalization to climate change. There is an undercurrent of tension, however, as some groups are threatening violence, a development which would be unfortunate but hardly unprecedented. Today features a riposte-in-advance from “Bill the Banker”, presenting his side of the argument. Readers jonesing for a dose of Macro Man’s own particular brand of literary styling should check out the newly-minted FAQs. Take it away, Bill….

First of all, let me say that I understand that people are angry, and that I understand why people are angry. The idea that the finance industry reaps virtually all the rewards during the good times but socializes the risks in the downturns is not one that sits well with the public, for obvious reasons. I also support the democratic right to freedom of assembly, which was used to such effect by leaders such as Gandhi and King.

However, what people need to understand is that most of us in the City are angry, too. Contrary to the caricature of “greedy bankers” who play roulette with the public’s wealth and pensions, most of us are honest, hard-working, and do the best job that we can. And probably to a greater degree than the public, many of us have seen our life savings evaporate during this crisis, through no specific fault of our own. Does anyone think that we’re happy about that? Does anyone think that we regard Fred Goodwin, Dick Fuld, and the like as anything but villains?

Most of us had no control over the decisions that led to this debacle. And yet here we are, with bills to pay and an evaporated nest egg. Oh, and a salary that hasn’t changed in a dozen years. I reckon that I made around £35 per hour last year, working 70 hour weeks. That’s little better than a skilled tradesman’s wage…except I pay more tax, get less sleep, and have no tea breaks.

So you’ll have to excuse me if I get angry when some unwashed layabout who’s never seen the sun rise starts moaning about the government bailing out the banks with “our” money and threatening to “bash” or “burn” a banker. “Our” money? Oh really? How much tax have these protesters paid over the years, and how much will they pay in the coming years? A damn sight less than the City, is my guess. What’s the tax rate on the dole again?

OK, OK, I know that a lot of protesters will actually be people who hold jobs and pay taxes. But you don’t have to be Sherlock Holmes to see that there is a cadre of professional moaners and rabble-rousers who are looking to stir up trouble. You know, the “property is theft” crowd who figure that since they can’t be arsed to do any work, anyone who does must have something wrong with them.

And then there’s the eco-nazis who blame all of the world’s ills on climate change. Well, here’s a little newsflash for them. The financial crisis has nothing to do with climate change. And here’s another: the climate has been changing for hundreds of millions of years. To expect the earth’s climate to remain forever constant is an act of breath-taking stupidity.

Has modern industrial society had an impact on the earth’s temperature? Almost certainly. But during that period, human health and life expectancy have risen dramatically, thanks to the advances brought about by modern industrial society and globalization. Where are the protests against that? Why, too, do the eco-freaks campaign against genetically-modified foods, which can enhance crop yields and reduce starvation?

Perhaps they just like a good moan, regardless of the rationale. Whatever. That’s their prerogative. As I said above, the freedom to take to the streets for a moan is a democratic right. But the destruction of property and pogroms against a specific sector of the economy cross the line of what is acceptable. I hope that the marches are peaceful and that the protesters enjoy themselves. But the soap-dodgers should be warned: if they’re looking for trouble, they just might find it.

Originally published at the Macro Man blog and reproduced here with the author’s permission.

3 Responses to "Bill the Banker"

  1. Guest   April 2, 2009 at 4:48 am

    “But the soap-dodgers should be warned: if they’re looking for trouble, they just might find it.”Oh man, apparently Macro Man doesnt get it..but Karl Denninger does. There is REAL, tangible anger out there. This isn’t some cutesy schoolyard fight. This is beyond the norm. While Jon Stewart says that liberals express their anger by emailing in CAPS (WTF!!!). The jobless, homeless, and stolen from (most non brainwashed Obamabot taxpayers, Get IT.Moreover, the Brits seem to Get IT better than Americans who are sheeple watching American Idle.Here is a link Karl Denninger found. Be certain, that once the Rubicon is crossed in this regard, there will be no turning back.And you know what? Since Congress is so feeble and espouses and utterly bankrupt moral culture, maybe a good ol’ beating is called for. After all, the best lessons are generally learned after a good a$$ kicking:** Wall Street,What a bunch of whiny f**king babies. John Galt would be puking blood for 200-pages over this load of sh**, you bunch of sobbing welfare queens. You f**ked up. You ruined everything. You broke it, and we f**king bought it, because big baby was too big baby to fail.We get it all ways from you motherf**kers. You’re robbing us of our present and future now, but first you stepped on our throats on your way to the top. You raked in the money with a bunch of made up fantasyland bullsh** that wouldn’t fool a counting horse on America’s Funniest Home Videos, but somehow suckered in every major bank in the world.Credit default swaps.Those things are so f**king dumb that when you explain them to somebody and they laugh about how dumb they are you’ve got to act like ooooh they’re so magical and complicated. Far too complex for the plebes to get. No! Wrong! Go into OTB and put fifty dollars on Rambo’s Beautiful Blood. You just bought a credit default swap. Whoaaa you’re blowing my simple pea brain with your fancy Wall Street talkin’. You sadsack ****ers.So everybody bought into your big scheme, even when they didn’t know they were playing, and now the whole thing has come crashing down because too many people won the f**king unbelievably obvious bet that a million illegal immigrants were going to default on million dollar home loans. Suddenly all your stupid fake money is gone, but if it’s gone the whole system of bullsh** lies collapses and you look like d**kheads. So whoopty-doo, now we gotta make the fake money turn real or else the house of sh**ty c**t cards comes crashing down, only there isn’t enough real money to cover all the fake money, so we’re making more real money.Then there’s A.I.G., the bad seed, the carbuncle on our anus, the weeping wound in our tit, the sorry source of all our misery and woe. This is the monster garage full of miscreants that dreamed up the fire-breathing nitro-gulping predicament we’re in right f**king now. Their financial products division created the derivatives market from lies and their executives raked in billions in bonuses and easy money. While they were peddling bad bets, median wages in the US stagnated and poor working schmucks leaned increasingly on credit to get by. Prices on everything were going up, but credit was easy to come by what with all that bullsh** money to throw around. And then the good days ended, for the poor sh**head in the middle class anyway. While you a**holes on Wall Street were lining up for your first round at the government trough, the poor f**kers that had been using credit cards to maintain their standard of living from the 1990s were beginning to lose everything. Their houses, cars, health care, and even their jobs were disappearing. F**kers at Merrill-Lynch, A.I.G., Citi Group, Bank of America, and on, and on, and f**king on were taking huge bonuses or executive compensation packages. They were “retiring” to third world countries where their fortunes would set them up like kings.And listen up motherf**kers, because we f**king paid for it. Us. The f**king taxpaying public. The dudes you have been grinding beneath your heels since you first read Ayn Rand and sociopathed your way through econ 101. We’re your paymasters now, f**kers. And yeah, your tools in the government and in the press are between you and us for now, but we’ve got one trick up our sleeve. One and only recourse while you’re raping us for our last f**king dollars.We can get ****ed. We can let the hate take over and form a f**king mob. When you take home bonuses from our money, when you get our bailouts and have your lobster luncheons or your strippers and coke parties at the Mirage, we’ll be there with our torches and our f**king pitchforks. And just because you got your little crybaby letter in the New York Times, just because “the media narrative” is turning back in your favor, doesn’t mean we have forgotten. We’re ****ed and we know what you did.Jake DeSantis, you f**king narcissist, don’t give me that bullsh** self-pitying resignation letter. Don’t tell me you weren’t the dick that has been f**king this country, just the hand on its throat. Don’t make me laugh with your charity donation lesson in life. Let me give you a life lesson. We’ll go through the Red Cross and the March of Dimes to get to you. We’ll leave Jerry’s Kids mewling and thrashing in the gutters and overturn the Salvation Army Kettle to get our f**king money back.You’re all scum. Villains. And before this is through blood will be shed. Human blood that doesn’t come out of a gigantic f**king vagina like yours, DeSantis. It’s not a threat, it’s a promise you’re making to us.”Come get us,” you’re sneering.”I hope you like to eat turds from a human butt,” we’re sneering right back.Your offices will be lit from within by the fires of a thousand burning evil motherf**kers and their evil personal assistants. There will be chaos. Triple chaos. Saigon all over again. They’ll be pushing G5s off the deck of an aircraft carrier to make room for the next private jet escaping New York. We’ll string the filth of the NYSE from lamp posts and Rick Santelli’s empty sockets will look out on the streets, choked with useless paper and cars torched for insurance money.The orgy of our outrage will be legendary. We’ll cut off hands and feet and gouge out tender parts. We’ll feed chopped up guts to dogs and rotting carcasses can fertilize urban gardens. Remember that tree they put Conan on? No, that’s not for you, that’s for your wives! You should be so lucky!The last of you, the scarred remnants of your horrible tribe, can read this to a congressional hearing, your voices quivering with indignation while pale fists hammer on the glass and cry to see your blood spill out in a red gush across the steps of the Capitol.You motherf**kers had better be afraid. You haven’t learned your lesson yet, but we have.DEATH TO WALL STREET!Sincerely and with warmest regards,Zack Parsons** The Commentator does NOT advocate violence, just common sense and appropriate self help.

  2. Jimmy   April 4, 2009 at 6:28 am

    It’s necessary to have banks but a banker does not produce anything, does not create value. You might work 70 hours a week, but doing what? Does it actually result in more food, products or a higher standard of living?If farmers produce food and craftsmen produce goods, why should the banker that facilitates them with capital (not his own capital but depositors’ capital!) earn more?Bankers should facilitate productive people by borrowing and lending capital. Anything they do besides that is only to provide profit for the banks themselves but does not add value to the economy.I’m sure you work hard but don’t. Get a real job.